he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize