we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
