Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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