Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She's the barista slut.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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