Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
