Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
