I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
