you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
