left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize