did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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