I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
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I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
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He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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