This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
