remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
