why didn't you poke me back
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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