I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm really into asian looking animals
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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