I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
