using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
