Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
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