She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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