like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
