When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
