I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Your face is a jimmy john
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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