Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
