K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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