Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
