I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
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just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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