so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
