I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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