I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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