Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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