remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize