I smell stomach acid.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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