I accidentally had phone sex last night
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
