East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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