i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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