just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
