im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
People in love make me want to vomit
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
