If that was your dad, he is hot
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
