My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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