I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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