I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
