I'm laying in your front yard are you home
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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