i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
