Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Best friends brother. Beat that.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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