he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
