my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
