i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
