I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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