dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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