is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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