I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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