About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
