party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
