she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
