Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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