Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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