You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Randomize
