They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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