i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
it was like eating out sand paper
Is it because I queefed?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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