I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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