i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
